Friday, July 29, 2011

Power Failure

After a loss of power this morning, and the heavily weighed and most important question (should we spend money on ice at the gas station down the road to rescue the food in the freezer or give it one more hour and save the change?) it became apparent just how terribly dependent I am on the things that I've grown accustomed to.  

Namely: power (in the form of electricity, not physical or financial dominance), readily available food, ceiling fans(power again), running water, and, of course, the internet. 
It didn't occur to me until later that day that my poor fish (10 gallon freshwater) had gone without filtration, aeration and light for the better part of two hours.  Not the biggest deal when you look at the thousands of chickens in the Eastern States cooking in the previous heat wave, but still!  They're my fish!  How long would they survive in a bucket of stagnant water?  I guess it'd be a solution if I ran out of cat food.  

See just how many things we have to consider in the event of a massive power failure?  My wife would disagree with me, but I have it broken down this way: 
  • The fish will feed the cats.
  • The cats will feed the dogs.
  • The pug(wife's dog) will feed me.  
  • My dog and I will go off into the sunset with a rifle to scrounge for food.  Wife can tag along or make a salad from whatever is still alive in her garden.  
Most likely case scenario:
  • The fish will feed the cats.
  • The cats will beat the hell out of the dogs and do their own thing.
  • The pug will get large portions from my plate at my wife's behest.
  • My dog and I will scrounge for food and ration everything we have so my wife will not beat me, take the pug and the cats and head off into the sunset while I make a salad out of everything that has died in her garden.  
Good.  I think we have it all figured out.  Bring on the EMP!!!